Posts Tagged ‘Nestor the gardener’

How to get a head in life

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

By Tiber

A neighbor actually returned something we had lost in the flooding. It was the topiary in a pot that Nestor, our gardener, had trimmed to look like Dad‘s face and head.

 It doesn’t look much like Dad now.

Of course, Dad never recognized himself in it anyway. Afraid that Nestor might be let go in the financial pinch, Mrs. Brunty, our ever-wise housekeeper, had suggested cutting a topiary to look like Dad.

She didn’t think that Dad would recognize himself in it but that he’d fall in love with Nestor’s work because of a subconscious connection to his own head. And then he wouldn’t fire him. And she was right!

Dad is crazy about that topiary, the “art” one, he calls it.

And now, with it so damaged, he was so afraid that Nestor would not be able to remember such an original piece and be able to reproduce his masterpiece exactly.

Nestor, of course, just took another quick look at Dad’s head and has whipped out another one.

We all get a laugh. Dad is thrilled. And I don’t think Nestor will ever be fired now. Even if the house goes.

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Don’t crush your crush

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

By Tiber

Ever since Dad has been trying to cut down on expenses, he’s ended up with more people living here than ever before.

Cook’s sister, Saskia, hit her own hard times and Cook asked Dad if she could live out in the gatehouse. Dad said yes but Saskia, for some reason, can never remember who he is. And whenever he drives in, she’s always confronting him, yelling, “Halt! Who goes there?!?”

Both Saskia and Cook are really tall and powerful women and with Cook already intimidating Dad inside the house, having Saskia leap at him outside has made him feel that he’s now living in some “Amazons Attack!” B-movie.

Last night, though, Saskia did not fly out of the gatehouse.

Dad did hear the back window opening.

And then, in the fading light, he saw Nestor, the gardener, scurry away across the grounds.

Nestor has been staying over in the staff wing since he got a divorce but evidently, he’s not over in the staff wing all the time.

Love may be in the air. Love may be in the eye of the beholder and clearly, love may now be in the gatehouse.

In the challenging world that we live in, I support any couple hooking up as much as the next person.

It’s just that Nestor, while pretty strong, is also pretty tiny. And Saskia is so big, she could comfortably wear a pair of moose as earrings and they’d never touch the ground.

So while some couples may look like models and some couples may look like each other, every time I think of Nestor standing next to Saskia, the only image I can think of  is that of a point one.

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Is that plant staring at me?

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

By Tiber

It‘s been said, that there are certain people, who, just by walking into a room, make everybody else feel better. My parents‘ housekeeper, Mrs. Brunty, is one of those people. Even though she‘s white and a woman, in a movie, she’d be played by Morgan Freeman.

My father may think he runs things around here but we all know it‘s really Mrs. Brunty.

And now, she has succeeded with an idea to keep part of the staff employed, even during Dad’s financial setbacks, by convincing Nestor, the head gardener, to recut one of his prized topiaries into the shape of Dad’s head. Mrs. Brunty figured Dad probably wouldn’t recognize his face in a topiary at all but on a subconscious level, he’d just really like Nestor’s work. And this turned out to be true, once they got past an initial misunderstanding.

“I know it’s cold out there but I have an idea for you, Nestor, about recutting your toilet bowl brush topiary.” Nestor, understandably, looked momentarily blank.

“…Uh…do you mean my giraffe?”

“…Oh! Well, that does make more sense. Yes! Your very attractive giraffe.” Mrs. Brunty then went on to explain her plan and Nestor, not having any better ideas, went ahead and trimmed down the topiary to look like Dad’s head.

And it worked. Dad came by and was instantly hooked.

“Nestor! This new topiary is great!” I like this one much better than your old toilet bowl brush.”

Nestor sighed, “That was a giraffe, sir.”

“Oh!…Well, that does make more sense. Anyway, this one is much more handsome! I don’t even know what it is. I just like it!…For some reason, it makes me feel good!  I’ve got to hand it to you guys. You’re working harder now than ever.”

“Thank you, sir,” Nestor beamed.

And when Dad wandered off, Nestor knew that his job is safe for now.

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