Posts Tagged ‘Dorothy Parker’s one perfect limousine’

One perfect limousine

Monday, March 29th, 2010

By Tiber 

As I’ve probably said before, besides me, my older sister, Vanessa, is the one of us with the most business sense. Of course, now I’ve been outsourced so, clearly, I have no sense or cents at all.

Iris Nell says there’s a poem by Dorothy Parker where she laments that instead of always being given one perfect rose, why can’t a man send her one perfect limousine?

Well, Vanessa has had more than her fair share of limousines. So that’s the business she chose. And now, she’s the co-owner of a small company. The other owner can be a real pain but Vanessa puts up with it for now because she wants to eventually buy him out.

All in all, she likes the work but it can make you very cynical. Seeing enough people crying after weddings and laughing after funerals can do that to you, I guess.

Vanessa will drive a limo herself, once in awhile, if the need arises. Knowing this and the fact that she’s so beautiful, it happened again this weekend that another man tried to book her as his driver, with the thought of the two of them being alone for an evening out.

The company’s wise to this, of course, and never promises a particular driver. And yet, still these guys try. When this happens, an “equally capable driver” will arrive, usually in the form of Semi, who, I think, was born in Tonga. Semi’s great but at some 290 very muscular lbs., he could probably crush you into a placemat.

Quickly, the guy, who’d been set on Vanessa being there with him, decides to cut his ride short, even though he’s already paid for it.

The company saves a lot on gas this way, plus Semi pretty much always gets a lovely tip.