By Tiber
Since I still haven’t found a new job, I finally decided to go and try to get my old job back.
Of course, I had to swallow my last bit of pride. And first, I had to find it. Eventually, I located one tiny remaining piece lodged between two back teeth so I used that and returned to my old office.
I told them I knew my job had been outsourced but that I would work for even less and that surely, by now, they must know there were real advantages to having the work done back on the old home turf.
And that’s when they told me.
My job hadn’t been outsourced at all. They’d just realized they could do without it completely. So why pay for it?
All of the work I did for years was evidently completely pointless!
I can hear my old boss yukking it up with his friends.
“Hey, you know that guy whose job means absolutely nothing? Well, he even worked through his coffee break again!” Screams of laughter.
So I wasn’t simply fired. Clearly, I’m also clueless.
It’s as if you find out that your recently departed girlfriend is newly engaged to, I don’t know…a ferret.
The whole time you were with her, you busted your ass staying up all hours trying to entertain her and take her to expensive restaurants – and then it turns out that what she really wanted instead was for someone to let her sleep for 18 hours a day and then go out and eat mice.
