“Dearly beloved…first of all, do any of you know where the bride and groom are?”

By Tiber 

My sister, Iris Nell, got a quick job I had never even heard of. She was hired out as a bridesmaid for a big wedding where the bride didn’t have enough close friends to match the number of groomsmen.

Iris Nell seems like a wonderful choice. She’s pretty, she’s empathetic, she can fit into that extra dress.

Uh…let’s go back to the empathetic part, shall we? The ever-romantic Iris Nell really got into the couples’ back story.

She was fascinated by how they had dated for so long, broken up three times but had always gotten back together again. And this time it was for keeps! It was true love! She teared up and babbled on.

Iris Nell said this was the kind of love we all seek since, in spite of their difficulties, these two were destiny-fated-soul-mates, propelled back once again into each others’ tree-like arms in a tight and clinging embrace that now would never break but instead would super-glue their entwined bodies together until the end of time.

Frankly, I think a number of people might find Iris Nell’s idea of an eternal love bond similar to being exiled to Elba shackled to a fire alarm.

And guess what? These two people were in that group, yelling “Dear God, get us out of this!”

Nothing else could rip this couple apart but Iris Nell‘s romantic love-gush did.

The last I heard, even the groom’s parents were splitting up. And by all accounts, they had always been happy. 


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