The “I Can Live With That Dating Service”

By Tiber

Quite awhile ago, I wrote about how my idiot brother, Duncan, and his wife, Honor, had somehow come up with a good money-making idea.

They’ve started the “I Can Live With That Dating Service” where prospective daters just reveal everything wrong with themselves instead of what’s right.

This is actually working because, when you think about it, coexisting with other humans is really much more about what you can stand as opposed to what you can share.

And it looks as if they’re having their first marriage between two clients.

Duncan and Honor, weighing all of the couple’s flaws, have put together a perfect match.

He leaves up the toilet seat…But she’s a compulsive cleaner who’s happy not to touch the lid.

She cracks her right hand knuckles…But he’s deaf in his left ear.

He wakes up hungry at 3AM…But she’s a lonely insomniac, who now has someone to cook for.

She bites her nails…But he has a phobia of pointy things.

He hogs the remote…But she thinks TV is evil and she lets him.

Most horrifying of all, both of them, when stressed, compulsively hum, “I Love You. You Love Me” from that Barney children’s show.

So now, they can sincerely sing it to each other, never plunging again into the dating pool, making it a win-win for them and the world.


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