It’s hot, hot, hot. And you’re not, not, not.

By Tiber 

It is so hot, there has to be another word for it. I saw some iguanas outside and they were all wearing those little beer can hats with straws.

And, of course, with a melting heat wave, our entire air conditioning system has to give one last choking gasp and then go out.

Make no mistake. man’s greatest invention was not the wheel or the printing press but air conditioning.

Without it, you will die. Not only because you will get heat stroke but also because you and everyone around you will soon end up killing each other.

Dad was too enervated to do anything but Mom, who seldom seizes the lead in anything, instantly took charge.

This may be because out of everyone here, she’s the one, over the years, who has seen the largest number of us naked. Besides the whole family, she’s also seen Taffy, the maid, (the unfortunate cactus incident), Brunty, the butler, (the unfortunate hammock accident) and even Cook (the day the flan exploded).

Knowing that clothes were soon going to be coming off in the heat wave today, Mom floored it into town and somehow found a guy who would not only fix the air conditioning on a Saturday but also do it at a reasonable price.

So civilization has been restored!

Plus, I think we may have found Mom’s Achilles heel.

Anytime we want her to do something, it’s pretty clear that all we have to do is mention that it might be fun if we all gathered together and performed a completely naked conga line that would go bouncing throughout the entire house.


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