“Whoooo are youuuu?” asked the Caterpillar

By Tiber 

When we were kids, my oldest brother, Duncan, loved to stick us with nicknames.

We tried to retaliate by calling him “Duncan Donuts” but not only was it lame, it never seemed to bother him.

We’re part Scottish and since Vanessa’s name was inspired by a trip to Loch Ness, Duncan’s tagging her “the monster” was inevitable. He also stuck her with “Mini-Van” until she grew to be as tall as he is and much tougher, so now he can never call her either one if she’s anywhere within reach.

With another sister’s food allergies, Duncan sensitively changed Iris Nell to “I retch well.”

And Erin he called “Merrin” in his best Linda Blair voice. She was too young to have even seen “The Exorcist” when he started but it terrified her anyway, since Duncan told her that once he’d called her “Merrin” 50 times, her head would start spinning around.

Our brother, Kru, ended up as “Special K.” 

Plus, Duncan also revealed to another bully at school that Kru’s middle name is Karl and the guy celebrated his small amount of knowledge by slamming Kru’s head into the ground and yelling, “Karl Marx the spot!”

I broke my arm once and Duncan immediately started calling me “Floppy.”

That’s been shortened to just “Flop” which, considering my current circumstances, may have been surprisingly prescient.

But most famously, when Duncan was about 12, he called Jack, our father, “Jack-in-the-Box.”

After that, Duncan disappeared for awhile. We began to wonder if we’d ever see him again.

We did, of course. But it was the one nickname he only used once.

2 Responses to ““Whoooo are youuuu?” asked the Caterpillar”

  1. Superb website…

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  2. admin says:

    Thank you so much

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