And a unitard for your unicorn

By Tiber 

Because of the money situation right now, we had a pretty scaled-down Christmas this year. And maybe that’s not so bad. We used to buy each other so much stuff that was never even used but, this year, with fewer gifts exchanged, we had to think hard about what people would really want.

My sister, Iris Nell, had been hoping she would have more money to spend, since she started her online business creating custom-made, all-weather gear for small pets other than cats and dogs. But it has proved a slow starter. I guess a lot of people are short of cash right now and maybe a raincoat for your gerbil is not at the top of your Santa list.

I told Iris Nell that she needed to branch out into other animals. And I would even write the ad copy for her!

She could make “Croc Mocs!” – “The softest shoes for your alligator’s rough feet!”

Or how about “Udder Cozies?”

“They’ll keep your cow’s unmentionables toasty on even her chilliest mornings!”

And don’t forget “Boas for Boa Constrictors!”

“Let her look sexy for her own special snake! (With added shoulder attachments to prevent slippage!)”

Iris Nell literally stamped her foot and said I wasn’t taking her business seriously.

I take all businesses seriously and I guarantee you, if anyone who has a snake, a croc or a cow ever contacts her, she’s going to trot out these suggestions and do everything she can to sell them.

I just want my royalties.

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