The Four Horsemen of the Applesauce


By Tiber

Since we had our little fire scare, I didn’t write this week about the triplets’ Halloween. Normally, we throw a big party here for everybody but, this year, we had to beg off and all that was left was just the triplets going out trick or treating.

As you know, the terms “docile” or “manageable” or really, let’s face it, “human” are seldom used in any sentence alongside “my brother Duncan’s triplets.” And before Halloween, everybody was debating costume ideas for them.

Since Duncan was taking them out and the triplets are approaching 11 and are slightly taller now, Erin said dryly, it was obvious they should all go as The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Duncan would be “Death” and two of the triplets would be shoo-ins for “Conquest” and “War.” As for the third triplet, well, going as “Famine” might just score more candy for everybody.

Mom, however, who is still making a brave attempt to love them – oh. all right, she does actually love them, said no way were her son and grandchildren going dancing around the neighborhood dressed up as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

She said no again, even when Kru mentioned that he knew a woman who might even loan them some of those tiny horses.

Finally, somebody had the inspired suggestion of the kids dressing up as a big Saguaro cactus. You know, those tube-shaped, three-pronged ones that grow out in the desert. Each triplet could have a tube on the top, where their face could stick out but, best of all, all of their feet would have to be pushed together into the bottom tube. They could walk but they could never run. Brilliant!

On the night, though, I thought they really looked more like a condom display. Obviously, I didn’t say anything in front of the kids.

And actually, I didn’t say anything in front of Duncan either. We may have our differences but I know there probably have been times when he’s thought about condom displays himself, and wondered why he didn’t  stop by one some 11 years and 9 months ago.

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