By Tiber
As I’ve said before, my friend, Ryan, has always been in love with my sister, Vanessa. It is not reciprocated.
He just never gives up, though, and he dogs her so relentlessly that maybe, once a year, if she has nothing better to do, she’ll give in and go out with him.
They recently went on their annual “date” and Ryan chose what he said was the most romantic restaurant he could find. I think he just wanted a place with so little light that, after a few drinks, Vanessa might start thinking he was someone else.
They got the menus but it was way too dark for Ryan to see, so in a casual, cool move, he flicked their little candle-holder closer and lit his menu on fire.
People at the restaurant said he was remarkably adept at putting the menu out quickly. It was just a shame that he hadn’t noticed that the fire had spread to his hair. Here, said the other diners, was where Vanessa took the lead and, thinking quickly, threw her coat over his head.
This did smother the flames and Ryan was saved but by the time he fought his way back out, Vanessa had made her escape.
“Hey, this gives me a great excuse to call her up and return her coat!”
“Jeez, Ryan,” I said, “Give it up, man.”
He tried to make the best of it, though.
“I guess I’m lucky she even agreed to go out.”
“Ryan, believe me,” I told him. “You’re lucky she even put you out.”
Tags: My sister Vanessa