Alone, I am nothing

By Tiber

Speaking of Larry’s Discount Occult, (“Super savings on the supernatural!”) when I went by a little early today to pick up my sister, Erin told me that Larry, the store owner, has decided to ban the employees from making so many personal contacts during working hours.

Evidently, Larry, insane bastard that he is, wants his workforce to, I don’t know, work.

I could see that the texting ban alone was already taking a toll on Erin because her thumbs were twitching like a hitchhiker on a caffeine jag.

“So just check in with your friends at the end of the day,” I suggested.

Erin looked at me as if I’d suggested making pillows out of them.

“No! Go and call Kristin and Brit for me and tell them to come over here immediately!”

Her thumbs were jerking around again as if the batteries in her hands needed replacing.

“Look, if your boss doesn’t want you texting them, he certainly doesn’t want them over here! And anyway, if Kristin and Brit did come, you’d just want to check on Katie and Jess.”

This clearly didn’t sit well with Erin and she tried to hit me with the nearest gargoyle.

“Remember that lawyer who was after Vanessa?” she sputtered. “Call him and get him to represent all of the salespeople here. This has got to be illegal!”

“Erin, I don‘t think-”

“Okay, okay, then I’ll make a list of 20 of my friends. Go see each of them and find out all of the interesting things they’re doing. I have to know RIGHT NOW!!!”

“Erin, I’ve met your friends and until the end of time, they won’t be doing anything that interesting, much less in the next ten minutes.”

Thank God she’s so addicted to texting. If her hands hadn’t been shaking so much, she might have been able to stab me with the Nosferatu nail clippers. 


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