Ninjas R Us

By Tiber

Will somebody out there please get me a writing job? Seriously! Clearly, I’m never going to be able to land a regular job again.

I blew another job interview today. Being a little late for it, I decided I couldn’t just say I’d been stuck in traffic. How lame was that? So I thought I would get creative.

I told the interviewer I’d allowed plenty of time when I left my house but I soon realized that the whole town was in chaos. An actual spacecraft had landed on the school grounds and the highly advanced aliens were demanding the immediate hand-over of all of the science fair projects. They wanted to learn in advance all of our future scientific breakthroughs.

I had to assemble the freaked-out villagers and calm everyone down by pointing out that the aliens couldn’t be that smart since obviously school wasn’t in session, there were no science fairs and even if there had been one, they generally don’t reveal a ground-level view of the future scientific advances of mankind so much as the reason why most kids don’t become scientists.

This calmed the crowd some, until it was discovered that a janitor inside the school had been taken hostage. All of the townspeople, including the police, were frozen with fear, wanting to free the hostage but not knowing how to fight the enemy and protect themselves at the same time. Believe me, I knew how to do both because of my many summers spent at Nick Neeley’s Nude Ninja Camp.

So again, I was called in to save the day.

A few well-placed spins and kicks later and I had that spacecraft outta there.

But it did make me six minutes late for the interview.

I looked up, expecting a laugh, a chuckle or at least a smile.

Instead, the interviewer just nodded, jotting down everything I’d said. At last, he stood up, shook my hand  and walked me to the door. He said that he’d been late for the interview too but in his case, he’d just been stuck in traffic.




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