To win me? Two skunks and an elderly warthog

By Tiber

Ever since my sister, Iris Nell, read somewhere that former U.S. president Bill Clinton was once offered 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter’s hand in marriage by a foreign suitor, she’s been obsessed with figuring out how many animals she would be worth.

I finally said to look online at the currency converters and maybe besides pesos to pounds, they also converted chicks to camels. Iris Nell just got pissy and said I wasn’t taking this seriously enough.

Yes! This is true.

When Kru heard us talking about it, he asked if Iris Nell thought she was going to be snapped up right away or would she still be on the market in a future post-apocalyptic world. If the latter, he reasoned, there would be considerably fewer goats or cows or anything else around, so being offered even one would actually be worth a lot more.

This annoyed Iris Nell too. But when Erin wandered by, she simply said that her sister would easily be worth 40 lions and a hippo and finally Iris Nell was happy.

This is why I will never understand women. One of the few rules I thought I had mastered was that under no comparative circumstances, whatsoever, were you ever to bring up the word ‘hippo.’


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