When your squirrels get snarky

By Tiber

I went out on the balcony and I saw my sister, Iris Nell, pass by a big tree out in back.

Suddenly, she stopped, looked up into the branches and proceeded to have some sort of long, emotional conversation.

Later, when she came inside, she told me that she’d heard two squirrels arguing. So she’d stopped to see what the problem was.

They both seemed to her to be teenaged squirrels and one of them had a skinny tail. I’ve seen a grown skinny-tailed squirrel here before and decided that her mother must have had a memorable, drunken one-night-stand with a rat. Well, evidently, the rat gene lives on.

And now, Iris Nell was worried that maybe the other teenaged squirrel (who had a normal, full tail) was bullying the skinny-tailed teen squirrel.

So she stepped right in, yelling up into the branches to knock it the hell off…that bullying another rodent because of a physical difference is just plain wrong…that bullying can cause suicide… that squirrels are better than that.

And evidently the fight stopped. Iris Nell said the two antagonists then eyed each other in a new light and she felt strongly that if they’d had thumbs, they would have shaken hands.

Therefore, my sister felt she could continue her walk and return home.

I love my family and I’ve learned to just nod at whatever that say. But I have a strong feeling that everybody else on the planet who was taking the same walk at the same time would just have passed by and thought,

“Yep. There’s a tree.”

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