Spring is in the air and the peacock’s on the car

By Tiber

We are idiots.

Mom had a visitor this weekend and nobody told the woman not to park her blue car out in front since the peacocks were loose. And two seconds later, we heard that horrible, metallic, grinding noise as the male peacock got a crush (let’s say) and proceeded to almost crush the visitor’s car with love.

As you know, the peacock is not alone. We have a peahen but, well, she may not be quite as attractive as-oh, who am I kidding? The peacock took one look at her and ever since then, he’d rather tap blue cars.

Remember the last time he tried to have sex with a blue car and Kru’s date was still inside?

“Oh, my God! She’s going to be the chewy nougat center!!!”

Iris Nell has never been able to find another good home for the peacocks so she insists that we keep them. But since Dad had to pay for the damage to that car and Iris Nell makes animal clothing, Dad told her she’d better make the peacocks some tiny Salvation Army outfits.

“Because if this happens again, the three of you are going to stand on a street corner with a bucket and collect some money to pay for everything!”

Well, now it’s happened again. Instead of the Salvation Army outfits, though, my older sister, Vanessa, rolled her eyes and told Iris Nell,

“Just make the peahen some sexy lingerie and get it over with!”

This probably shouldn’t be just Victoria’s secret. I’m thinking that if Iris Nell really does start making hot underwear for our bird, maybe we should keep this everybody’s secret. 

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