It’s February 15th! That means it’s “National Narcissus Day!”

“Narcissus” by Caravaggio

By Tiber

I know other people have talked about this sort of thing but, being single myself, I say it’s time we got serious about it.

I hereby declare that the day after Valentine’s Day is now officially “National Narcissus Day!”

Everyone knows you’re bombarded with the endless “here a couple, there a couple, everywhere a couple, couple” in the approach up to Valentine’s Day, so even if you were fine before, you can’t help but end up feeling a little depressed.

But now you have something of your own to look forward to! The 15th of February is now “National Narcissus Day,” celebrated exclusively and with delightful self-absorption for all of the single people out there.

And yes, your couple friends have to buy you a present. God knows, you’ve spent more on them, what with wedding gifts, bachelor party gifts, shower gifts, housewarming gifts, baby gifts.

Granted, on Valentine’s Day, you still won’t have sex or physical affection or warm nurturing or any of that human stuff but hey, we live on a material plane as well and on “National Narcissus Day,” be comforted by all of the material things that you do have!

You get sole possession of the remote! You get the whole bathroom! You get the middle of the bed! You get all of the liquor and all of the food! And you never have to share!

So call up your couple friends and let them know!

Candy would be fine.

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