“We don’t need no stinkin’ cat sand!”

By Tiber

I’ve told you about my brother, Kru, coming up with the idea of his own home delivery of cat sand business and, to everyone’s surprise, he’s getting more and more clients.

Since I still haven’t come up with a job for me, Kru said I could ride along with him on his rounds today, even though he didn’t really need any help. Mostly, I just sat out in “The LitterAce Man” cat sand delivery truck and waited.

Evidently, at one stop, some neighborhood moms misread the sign, “TheLitterAce Man” as “The Literacy Van,” proof positive that we should have been driving the latter.

Anyway, they sent their kids out to see if we had good deals on computers or something. And unseen by me, the kids had congregated at the back of the truck, where they quickly started goofing around and twisted the big cat sand spigot to “fully open.”

By the time I saw the mothers racing towards me, the kids in back of the truck were disappearing under a mountain of cat litter and soon had to be pulled out by their toes.

Kru returned to find people practically lighting torches to go after him.

Get neighbors juiced up on media fear and a complete lack of the facts and they’re instantly ready to believe that you’re there to nab their children.

“You don’t have computers at all, do you?!?”

Kru was clueless.

“Computers? No!”

“Then what kind of stuff are you using to entice our kids before you trap them in sand? Is it video games or candy?!?”

“I don’t have video games or candy!!! All I carry is cat litter and litter boxes!”

“Oh, sure! Then, what’s that in the big silver box?!?”

Kru had to look to even see what they meant.

“…Poop forks!”

He opened the box and showed them but we still had to hightail it out of there.

Kru carries away a lot of used cat litter too and between the sight and smell of that plus the plastic poop forks, if these parents had just thought it through, I think they would have realized that Kru would make one of the least enticing criminals for kids ever.

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