You may now kiss yourself

By Tiber

I’ve always competed with my brother, Duncan, about everything. And nowadays, I sort of enjoy it because it’s usually very easy to win.

This week was Duncan and Honor’s wedding anniversary, however. Even with Duncan’s mastodon-sized flaws, the fact remains that he is happily married and I am not.

Their wedding was a nightmare. The cop had never seen anything like it but right before Honor was about to step into her limousine for the ride to the church, the car spontaneously burst into flames. No one, to this day, has ever figured out how that happened.

Later, another cop said he’d never seen anything like it either when, on finding the reception too long, Duncan and Honor decided to step across the street to the park and consummate their marriage under a swing set in their half-removed wedding clothes. That one got them arrested  for indecent exposure, lewd conduct, corrupting minors and something else I can’t remember. Taunting squirrels with nuts, maybe.

In any event, you clearly had not only the powerful forces of the supernatural but also the considerable forces of the law trying to break the two of them up. Yet, in spite of everything, they’re still together.

Me? I had a girl break up with me once because I like cheese.

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