It’s no day at the beach

By Tiber 

I just read where scientists have been able to replicate that distinctive scent we all smell when we spend time by the ocean.

Kind of romantically, I think we all assumed it came from the foamy waves crashing onto the sands of time. Evidently, somewhat less romantically, it actually comes from bacteria munching and farting.

Okay, I’m simplifying a little but still, I say, let’s go to the lab and get ourselves some sea smell!

We could make good money by keeping summer going just a little while longer for guests who can’t afford to go to an actual ocean! They can have one more real-live fake day at the beach!

We’ll set them up in deck chairs, blast the sound of some waves, start spraying that seaside scent and tell people to imagine the ocean being right over that hill. Iris Nell can then release a few hungry seagulls who can dive bomb the guests for their food and then, as a bonus, we can way overcharge everybody for drinks.

And sand? We’ve got sand!  Kru, as you know, with his cat sand business has tons of the stuff. And nothing says a day at the beach like watching the kids spend hours building kitty litter castles which our own triplets then knock down in two seconds flat.

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