“What doesn’t kill us just makes us…weird”

By Tiber

When you lose your job, suddenly everyone starts driving up in the big, old cliché-mobile.

“Well, Tiber, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!”

The problem with that, though, is that life didn’t give me lemons. (On a piece of fish – delicious) It gave me crap. I guess I could make crapade out of it but my guess is, the demand would be limited.

You’re also told another classic, “But when one door closes, another one opens.”

This, of course, presupposes that all open doors are good. Remember, there’s a door to solitary confinement, a door to the dentist’s office, a door to hell. You get my point.

I’ve also been “comforted” with “Well, just remember, there are lots of people who are worse off than you are.”

Great. Now, besides feeling sorry for all of those other people, I also realize there’s even farther for me to fall.

But the most popular remains, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”

Oh, yeah? I’d had a few beers, granted, but the other night, I came across an antique Edison cylindrical record that my father has, and started commiserating with it.

 “You poor bastard. You never make music at all anymore, do you? Well, nobody can hear my song now, either! Tell me this, if your job is outsourced in a forest, can you still hear your paycheck?”

Erin and Vanessa stumbled on me talking to the little tube. They took one look at each other and immediately exited by opposite doors.

I don’t think, “Tiber seems so much stronger now,” was exactly the thought they went out with.

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