Brother, can you spare a mil?

By Tiber 

My parents’ maid, Gabby, like so much of the world, is obsessed with celebrities. She worships them. Once in awhile, one of our family members will want to confirm some gossip about somebody famous and no matter how obscure it is, Gabby will always know all about it.

Also, like many other people, Gabby thinks that the celebrities she loves, love her right back.

And with Dad having money problems, Gabby figured out a new way to hang onto her job. She decided to contact her favorite celebrities and ask them for money. They’re still rich, so why not?

To her disappointment, though, all she got back were some autographed pictures, no cash. She’d failed in her quest but she still wanted my parents to know that she’d tried, so she explained what she had done, and told them that, at least, they could keep the photos.

My parents, of course, were horrified that she’d contacted any Hollywood people at all and said there was no need to ask anyone for money. Gabby replied that she was relieved to know this since she’d been about to start hitting up the world’s royal families.

On hearing this, my father suddenly paused, until Mom smacked him with a rolled-up magazine.

Mom then worried that maybe they’d hurt Gabby’s feelings and she told her how much they still appreciated her efforts. And then Mom lied and said that she and Dad would be honored to each have one of the photographs Gabby had offered.

Mom just took the first one on the stack but it still pleased Gabby very much. Dad instantly went for the photo five pictures down which “happened” to be some reality star in a bikini bottom. And with that, at least two of them were pleased.

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