Pub flub

By Tiber


My family’s newest moneymaking idea is to open our own “Olde English” style pub, right here on the grounds.

We began with the search for our pub’s name. It went something like this:

“How about ‘The Fox and the Donkey?’”

“‘The Fox and the Ass!’”

“‘The Drunken Donkey.’”

“‘The Drunken Ass!’”

“Oh, please. Now you’re just insulting the customers!”

“How about ‘The Black Bat?’”

“‘The Black Sheep!’”

“No! You‘re doing it again!”

“Then make it more upscale. How about ‘The Duke and the Sheep?’”

Dad decided to really move along from there.

“‘The Something Arms.’”

“‘The Goose Arms.’”

“Geese don’t have arms!”

“That’s not what it means.”

“Then go for royalty. Like a Queen.”

“…‘The Victoria Arms!’”

“‘The Victoria’s Secret!’ She was bound to have had at least one.”

“Oh, for God’s sake, people!”

“I like ‘The Eagle and Lamb.’”

“No! It makes me worry that a big eagle might carry the lamb away!”

“Fine. Then make it harder. ‘The Eagle and Bull.’”

“‘The Bull and Rooster!’”

“‘The Bull and the Cock.’”

Mom jumped up excitedly and yelled out,

“‘The Queen and the Cock!’”

We all just gave up at that point.

Like a horse in stilettos, so much of the time, we can’t even get out of the starting gate.


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