So tell us, who is your rat wearing?


By Tiber

Since Dad says everybody now has to get a job, my sister, Iris Nell, has finally come up with one that she may be able to handle.

As I’ve said before, one thing Iris Nell can do really well is knit. One of our great-grandmothers taught her and she’s never stopped. It’s not, however, in a sweet, honoring the ancestor sort of way but more in a Madame DeFarge, still-knitting-away-while-heads-are-being-chopped-off-in-the-French-Revolution sort of way. Still, being an obsessive/compulsive  does give you a great deal of experience and Iris Nell figures she can certainly whip out lots of little clothes.

Her first thought was to open a business making dog and cat clothes but she quickly decided that this market was too crowded. So instead, she’s going to open the “It’s Not Raining Cats and Dogs” online shop, where you can buy “custom-made, all-weather gear for other animals.”

To everyone’s great surprise, Mom is evidently helping her. No one knew Mom could even sew. As kids, whenever we tore a piece of clothing, Mom would murmur, “Oh, dear” and then quickly drift out of the room. We have always assumed she had some sort of thread allergy.

But now, my sister and mother are spending hour after hour making hamster hats, sugar glider sweaters and mice macs.

Of course, for me, if you’re actually buying very expensive all-weather animal attire, it immediately brings up two questions:

a) Should you really be taking your exotic little pets outside in all kinds of weather? And-

b) Shouldn’t you be checking yourself into a psychiatric facility?

Evidently, I am alone in asking these questions.


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