Falling down for fun and profit

By Tiber
My brother, Kru, being the kid who has always felt left out, likes to perform daredevil feats to prove himself.  They don’t always work out. My mother can be talking about anything and if she starts a sentence with, “Kru-,“ my father will jump in with “is an idiot!”

The truth is, over-all, Kru is pretty athletic but even the best stuntmen have to contend with the persistence of gravity.

When Kru was a kid, he and my mother were in the emergency room so much, that soon, eyes began to turn towards her.

Then one day, the hospital staff got to see what my mother was dealing with. They had gotten Kru comfortably placed in one of the cubicles and told him to wait. And they weren’t gone thirty seconds when they found that he’d climbed on top of that high cubicle curtain and was perched on that tiny bar like a vulture, peering down at the terrified woman in the other bed as if she were a carrion animal cracker.

I often wonder about that woman. This event may have scared her so much that she just died. On the other hand, it may have inspired her to get well immediately, get the hell out of that hospital and race home.

In any event, now that Dad has said that everybody had better get jobs, Kru’s been thinking that maybe he could perform some daredevil stunt and charge admission.

He decided to practice by scaling the front of the house, after prudently notifying security. They have guns. He did not, however, notify our maid, Gabby. And Gabby has rugs.

I saw it all as I was driving up. Not expecting anyone to be clinging to the outside of the second story, Gabby unfurled the rug out a window and slammed it to shake it clean.

The human fly clinging there, took what looked like a giant fly-swatter, right in the face, and down he went.

Gabby felt terrible about it but Dad reassured her to never feel bad in life when the other person is “an idiot!”

The emergency room personnel cheered my brother up though. They all called out in unison when he arrived,

 “Oh, hey, Kru!. Good to see you. Your usual room?”

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